Gone?
by curse-of-the-cat
Summary: Sunstreaker died on the battlefield. How is Sideswipe coping?


_**Disclaimer- Transformers (c) Hasbro**_

_**/----------/**_

He was gone. Dead. Not coming back.

I tried to save him, tried to keep him alive until Ratchet could reach us. It didn't work.

Sunny died on the battle field.

A shadow fell over me, blocking out the light. I looked up at Bluestreak, who laid a hand on my shoulder. "Let go, Sideswipe."

I looked up at Bluestreak, barely comprehending what he was saying. "What?" I asked dazedly.

"Let him go. We need to go back to the Ark." Blue whispered gently, pulling me to my feet. We looked down at Sunstreaker, whose golden armor was stained a muddy pink.

Half my spark died that day.

That was three days ago.

_**/--------------/**_

I was standing by the energon dispenser, talking with Tracks and Trailbreaker when Bluestreak had materialized next to me. "Hey, Sides? Can I talk to you?" he asked quietly.

Out of all the mechs that lived with us on the Ark, Blue knew what I was going through better than anyone. Bluestreak and Sunstreaker were planning on bonding after the war. Now they'd never get the chance.

"Sure." I followed him out of the Ark, letting him pick the path. It was obvious that he had something on his processor, but couldn't find the words to express it.

"Sides?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah?"

He hesitated. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah. Go ahead."

He paused, staring at the ground as we walked. "How are you coping? I'm trying and I can't. . ."

I considered his question. "If you want to know the truth, Blue, I don't know. I'm existing, really."

Bluestreak blinked. Apparently that wsn't the answer he was looking for. "Existing?"

"Yeah. Blue, Sunny and I were two halves of one whole. Now that he's gone, half my spark is gone." I paused. "I though I was strong enough for both of us, strong enough to keep him alive, but I wasn't. Still aren't." I lowered my gaze.

Bluestreak regarded me for a long while. I kept walking, not meeting his gaze. "Sideswipe?"

"Yes?"

He paused, clearly uncomfortable. "I was meaning to ask Sunny, but I'm curious. Did you have your optic on anyone?" he asked in a rush, wanting the words to come out as quickly as possible.

I couldn't help it, I began to laugh. "Even if I were to persue a mate, Blue, my spark wouldn't be in it."

"Why not?"

"Because Blue, half my spark is _gone_. How am I supposed to ask somebody to love me when I can't return the feeling in full?" I sighed. "What would be the point?"

Bluestreak nodded to himself, my response seeming to quell that particular line of questioning.

I went to take another step when my spark pulsed sharply, bringing me to my knees. I instinctively grabbed my chassis, hissing through my denta.

Bluestreak knelt beside me, worry etched on his faceplates. "Let's get you back to the Ark." he said, voice strained. "We don't need to lose you either."

I nodded, and let him help me to my feet, but the moment I stood upright, my spark pulsed again, causing my knees to buckle. "What the pit?"

Bluestreak grabbed my waist, hauling me off the ground long enough to get his arm under my legs, so he could carry me. "Sorry about this. I don't want you to get hurt."

I shrugged as best as I could. "Don't worry about it, Blue."

We reached the entrance of the Ark, and we both had to reset our optics. Because standing in the door, supported by Ratchet and Wheeljack on either side of him, was Sunstreaker.

"No way." I breathed.

Bluestreak put me down, and slowly walked towards Sunny, as if he was afraid that he'd disappear. "Sunny?"

Sunstreaker smiled, and laid his hand on Blue's face. "Hey."

Bluestreak smiled back, covering Sunny's hand with his own. "You're alive?" he asked, voice wavering.

"Looks like." His optics met mine. "Hey, bro."

"Hey yourself." I said faintly. "How?"

"Ratchet. He - how did he phrase it - zapped my aft back to life." he said with a chuckle.

I walked forward, touching his chassis where he'd been shot fatally. There was no mark, no indication of the wound that had killed my brother. "You're alive." I said, not quite wrapping my processor around it.

"Yeah."

I looked over at Ratchet, who was leaning against the door, arms crossed over his chassis, a small smile on his faceplates. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him. "Thank you, Ratchet."

Ratchet cleared his vocalizer uncomfortably. "Don't mention it, kid. Don't let it happen again, got it?"

"Yes sir!"

I looked over at Blue and Sunny, looking away again with a smile. They were back together, and happy.

Good. Maybe now life can go back to normal.

_**/------------------------/**_

_**A/N- This is a little one-shot I've had running around my head for a long while now. I kept meaning to get it up, but couldn't find the time, what with classes, and my other stories. Well, hope you liked it! Read, review, and let me know what you think!**_


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